I made a point to tune in last night and watch my favorite NBA team …. which is any team that plays the Miami Heat. Cleveland did its best to boo Lebron James and make signs with humorous acroynms and puns in relation to King James and Witness. Then you look up and the Cavs are down by 30.
One cool thing: I didn’t realize Joey Graham was starting for Cleveland. I lost track of him once he played in Toronto. Meanwhile Jameson Curry is said to still be regretting his decision to leave OSU after his junior year while slipping on his Springfield Armor jersey.
Kermit the Frog calling a buzzer beater in some girls high school game.
I’m totally stealing this observation from Barstool Sports. But when I pictured Kermit wearing headphones, sitting next to an awestruck Fozie Bear, tears literally came to my eyes. Let’s hope Gonzo doesn’t fuck up the post-game interview, pull a Jim Gray and ask the girl who hit the shot why she just won’t admit she cheated on her math test that afternoon.
Mike Gundy. Big 12 Coach of the Year. The man who did LESS coaching this year by hiring an offensive coordinator is honored for his coaching. Well done, Mike. Most Poke fans had zero enthusiasm about the 2010 season. And you made it one to remember. To be frank, it wasn’t the best year for your hair. You kept the lettuce tight most of the fall. But you let the gold chain dangle and rocked the pleated pants with the rhinestone belt. So you’re still my fashion hero.
Who voted for Mike Sherman? Texas A&M finished exactly where they were supposed to. (Some people had them winning the Big 12). And he had to bench his Preseason Player of the Year. And he has tits. Give those votes to Gundy. That’s why he doesn’t read the newspaper, Mr. Media. Because its garbage. And the people who voted for Mike Sherman are garbage. Makes him wanna puke.
Given the post-game comments from Mike Gundy after the Bedlam game, he sounds like he knows the 2010 Pokes were lucky to finish 10-2. The whole “we didn’t blow an opportunity but we didn’t take advantage of an opportunity” head game … genius! Gundy knew what he had. And he knew his money maker (Blackmon) was hurt. This is Pollyanna but if you’d have told me before the season began that O-State would finish 10-2 and beat Texas … I’d have offered to buy Coach Gundy all eight seasons of “Walker Texas Ranger” on DVD.
Reflections from the heart-wrenching, soul-crushing, nut-twisting game from the relatively cheap seats of Boone Pickens Stadium:
-Whoever does Erin Andrews hair deserves a 11X18 mural devoted to him/her at the Vidal Sassoon hair academy or whatever the Hall of Fame is for hair dressers. She’s got to have extensions, right? But who cares? And did you see her chat up all the highway patrol dorks on the sidelines? What a genuine person! Giving a whole new meaning to wielding a baton.
-Big internal laughs from me when – after Burns Hargis’ wife did 3 push-ups after the Cowboys kicked a field goal to make it 7-3 – she was interviewed about some Get Fit Oklahoma promotion. The reporter? Robert Allen. That’s like Strom Thurmond interviewing a civil rights activist.
-The batted ball interception by Brodrick Brown looked better in person. One of the most exceptional plays I’ve ever seen.
-It’d be a waste of internet ink to moan about Oklahoma’s third-down conversion rate. Nothing I can say here would contribute to the conversation. But it was like you couldn’t get excited after a stop for no-gain on first down and an incomplete pass on second down. Because you KNEW the Sooners would pick up the third down. And they seemed to be using OSU’s weapon of choice … finding an underneath receiver in space.
-Brandon Weeden – facing third and long – seemed to check down to the receiver 3 yards down the field way too much.
-The people next to me (thankfully) left after OU went up 33-24. Then these two creeps, who make Todd and Margo in “Christmas Vacation” look like the Clampetts, missed the most exciting fourth quarter of the season. Sure, it was heart-breaking. But that 90+ seconds with four touchdowns was like my prom night: 90 seconds of bliss that prematurely ended with pangs of self-doubt and abject humiliation.
The solace: OSU probably would have lost in the Big 12 title game. Especially with Justin Blackmon dinged up, Brandon Weeden limping around the sidelines and Robert Allen stinking up the team bus on the way to Dallas. But it would have been a fun experience.