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Archive for January, 2010

This has to be a joke. The over/under for the Super Bowl is 56. I know the Colts and Saints both score a lot of points. But NO ONE scores in the Super Bowl until the fourth quarter.

Taking the last five Super Bowls as a composite, neither team can click offensively until the final quarter.

Super Bowl XXXIX – Patriots and Eagles
Halftime score: 7-7
Final score: 24-21

Super Bowl XL – Steelers and Seahawks.
Halftime score: 7-3
Final score: 21-10 Steelers

Super Bowl XLI – Colts and Bears
Halftime score: 16-14 (ed note: Devin Hester returned the opening kick for a score so these 30 points are misleading)
Final score: 29-17

Super Bowl XLII – Giants and Patriots
Halftime score: 7-3
Final score: 17-14

Super Bowl XLIII – Steelers and Cardinals
Halftime score: 17-7
Final score: 29-23

The Saints and Drew Brees weren’t clicking offensively in the first half last week. And the Colts notoriously “feel out” a defense in the opening two quarters. (Plus the Colts offensive coordinator resembles a pedophile).

So maybe I should just bet the under on the first half. But I love the UNDER and 56 on the Super Bowl.

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Poke fan is gnashing his teeth that Booker T product Calvin Barnett may not honor his verbal commit to OSU and instead enroll at Arkansas. After all, good friend and teammate Eric Bennett is going to Fayetteville. And Barnett made a trip there recently.

Personally, I don’t think it would be a huge loss. Sure, Barnett has a big body (320 pounds). And he has the BTW Hornet pedigree. But I saw him play in high school and I wasn’t that impressed. I know he took on double and triple teams. But he rarely made an impact or pressured the quarterback. Plus, he was pretty mouthy with teammates and referees and enjoyed taking his helmet off prematurely, ala Tony Gillespie from Jenks. Barnett seemed to be the anti-Michael Doctor. (ed note: All this is said without any knowledge about anything. Come on, its a blog)

It seems like he’s more of a project player: big body, nice speed, etc.

Much like Xavier Lawson Kennedy. And we know how that worked out.

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Hoping to appeal to his liberal media elites on the coast, Sports Illustrated writer Chris Ballard sullied an otherwise fine profile of the Thunder’s Kevin Durant with a few opening paragraphs that bag on Oklahoma.

The parking lot at the Thunder practice facility smells like dog good. (Thanks to the folks at Memorial and Broadway Extension). The apex of OKC nightlife is a Grand Slam meal at Denny’s. The flat landscape is dotted with puke-colored grass poking out from dandruffy snow. Can you BELIEVE Kevin Durant has to deal with all this? HAHAHA. Now hand me that copy of the New Yorker before I buy my tickets to an off Broadway Plan and write an email to the local alternative weekly protesting third-world debt.

Portland is no bigger than Oklahoma City and no one bags on those dirty hippies. And Orlando may be large but is so insufferable and bland. Ask Kevin Ward who vacations there.

Face it, Blue States. The NBA is staying in Oklahoma. Knocking on the state won’t move the team back to dreary Seattle. We have dudes with flat tops and money that drill wells that are loaded with cash and club baby seals for fun and snack on children while they dream.

By the way, Ballard. Jim from “The Office” called and said you are ruining his look.

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The Tulsa World is reporting that former Texas Tech quarterback Graham Harrell will join the Cowboy football staff as a quality-control assistant.

One thing I love about both Harrell and his new boss Dana Holgerson. They both threw Adam James under the bus with strongly written letters to the Texas Tech brass.

What’s funny is that Harrell will be helping coach Brandon Weeden … but he’s still younger than him.

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TBoone: Mike? Boone here.
Gundy: Hello, Mr. Pickens. How are you?
TBoone: I’m old! And I thought we’d be winning the Big 12 by now. Hell, I’m not going to live forever. And there’s no reason to keep my ticker going to see us get shut out in Norman and crap the bed at the Cotton Bowl.
Gundy: I understand
TBoone: Some folks are saying you got too much on your plate. That you shouldn’t be calling plays.
Gundy: Those people are garbage.
TBoone: Why don’t you just hire a coordinator?
Gundy: Well, Mr. Pickens. I really like to keep a 50/50 balance between run and pass. In fact, even if the pass is working all game and the run is going nowhere, I’ll continue to run the ball so I can get my 50/50 balance. Same case with vice versa. Plus, I need a reason to make my signs and hold my clipboard. And …
TBoone: I wasn’t really asking. I was telling you. Hire a coordinator.
Gundy: Like who?
TBoone: How about someone from Houston? They seemed to beat us up pretty bad. You’re not going to get anyone from OU or Texas to come to Stillwater. And the folks in Mississippi probably won’t leave the SEC. So that leaves Houston. Why not just hire the feller there that made us look bad?
Gundy: Well, see …
TBoone: Again, not asking. Telling. Make the call. Now, I have to get going. ‘Matlock’ is on the television.

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Why does Mike Gundy even bother doing interviews? He straight up lied to the face of Tulsa World scribe Bill Haisten, saying he planned to retain play-calling and most of the offensive duties in 2009. Then, that same day the story is published, Gundy announces that he hired the janitor in “The Breakfast Club” to be his offensive coordinator.

When Gundy lies to the beat reporter of a newspaper read by thousands of alumni, he’s lying to the fans. This isn’t the Cold War. Loose lips are not sinking ships. Perhaps Gundy doesn’t want anyone to “break” a news story about the program. If he can release the information of a new hire the way he wants it, at the time he wants to and in the manner he chooses, Gundy feels in complete control.

But when he lies so egregiously and without remorse, you question everything else that comes out of his mouth. Did Perrish Cox really break curfew twice at the Cotton Bowl? Or did he just swipe a bottle of Gundy’s hair gel on the team plane? Now, anything Gundy says with the slightest bit of controversy attached cannot be taken seriously. Because he’ll lie if its convienent.

I’m sure Gundy can rationalize his dishonesty to be Bill Haisten by explaining he does what HE thinks is best for the program. I didn’t know for sure if the Breakfast Club janitor would take the job, he’d say. But he knew it was offered. Be evasive rather than lie. I’ll say this for Bob Stoops. He might be a dick sometimes when asked a question he doesn’t like. But he won’t lie.

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Saddest story ever told: “For sale: Baby Shoes. Never used.”
Second saddest story (potentially) ever told: Brandon Weeden decides to move on with his life and doesn’t play for OSU in 2010.

It could happen.

Word around the campfire is that Weeden, who is 26 and married, might be ready to open that insurance agency in Stillwater. Or just get a real job.

The story goes that, before the season, Weeden asked Gundy where he stood in the quarterback depth chart. Am I the back-up? Or am I the No. 3 guy? Because I’m approaching my late twenties and I’m married and I’m not going to stick around here to be the back-up to the back-up.

Gundy wouldn’t give him an answer. A shouting match ensued. And they’ve been at odds ever since.
Apparantly, Gundy doesn’t like the way Weeden practices. Or maybe he just doesn’t like Weeden as a person.

Regardless, if Weeden doesn’t return to quarterback the Cowboys next fall, Gundy will be screwed like a warden in a women’s prison with a pocket full of pardons.
Alex Cate? Please. Clint Chelf? Maybe. Johnny Deaton? If he takes a shower. The kid looks really unkept.

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