Archive for October, 2009

Kendall Hunter: Dave Hunziger and I will be VERY disappointed if you don't play Saturday. Not mad. Disappointed.

I’ll be very disappointed if Kendall Hunter doesn’t play a few snaps on Saturday. According to everything I’ve read, he’s been cleared physically to play. Either he’s squeamish or frightened or doesn’t want to harm a potential NFL career. If its the latter, tell him to see other examples on recent OSU backs in the league (i.e. Morency, Vernon; Savage, Dantrell, etc). There will never be another Thurman or Barry.

Plus, I don’t trust the whole “silent bastard” thing Hunter has going on. Back in the day, the silent bastard was the good guy, the guy who sneaks up on you at the end of the movie and saves the kid (“Home Alone” and “To Kill A Mockingbird”) or hits the big shot (“Hoosiers”) or makes lucid arguments on the fragility of ego and jealousy when it comes to loving a girl who was tag-teamed by a couple of townies (“Chasing Amy.”)

But in more recent times, the silent bastard has ended up being more bastard than silent. Look at Marvin Harrison. The guy didn’t say a word throughout his NFL career then he’s shooting people at carwashes. And how about that dude in “Fargo” that ended up being a real creep.

Point is … Kendall Hunter either needs to speak up or play. There’s only one Jimmy Chitwood.


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Seriously, with all the hot women in Texas, this girl is fronting a story about the Longhorn football team.

And Jordan Shipley, keep your hands to yourself. You’re embarrassing your legacy. Not only do you like like you’ve been hiking in the Himilayas for months with your grizzled mug, then you start groping Longhorn groupies in the middle of a stand-up?

Good luck on those short crossing routes this week, buddy. Donald Booker has a prediction. Pain.

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That's right ... (adjusts shirts) Iceman. I AM dangerous."
Keep moving, John Klein. Keep moving pal and no one gets hurt. You think you can spare yourself the vitriol and sarcastic comments by henpecking a favorable column on the Chosen One (Mike Gundy)?

What to do here?

Nice first sentence. “A CASE COULD be made that Mike Gundy has turned in the nation’s best coaching job the first two months of the season.”

Wow. Compelling opening sentence. Its a good thing Klein didn’t write the Bible.

“A case could be made that in the beginning, God made the heavens and earth. Some would argue he also made the sun and the stars. Others circles and their school of thought would argue he created man.”

I don’t have time to pick apart Klein’s column. I have to work to do. These pizzas won’t deliver themselves.

But stay away, John Klien. Stick to your WNBA cheerleader beat and generic, unthoughful opinions on other topics. (In Chris Crocker voice) LEAVE GUNDY ALONE! (*writer weeps*)

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Baylor Oklahoma St
If there is a more sanctimonious, self-righteous group of bean counters and holy-roller outside of Vatican City than the NCAA, I don’t know who they are. Dez is suspended for one year because he told some crusty dork with a pocket protecter to mind his business.

Way to show ’em, NCAA. The world is definitely better for what you’ve done. This disadvantaged kid who survived poverty and the fact his mom was in 7th grade when she had him needed to be taught a lesson for visiting an NFL Hall of Famer. This is even better than when you reprimanded Rick Majerus for buying a recruit a hamburger. Who does that kid think he is? The Hamburglar? Never mind the fact that football generates multi-millions for your organization and literally gets no compensation (*cue jerk-off motion to the “free education” argument*). The rules are the rules. And they must be followed. Unless you are USC.

I want the loser who pushing this suspension through the NCAA to show his fat face. I want to see the man who ruined Dez’s college career. Don’t hide behind your Trapper Keeper. Show yourself!

And OSU will still beat Texas.

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Seeing as OSU is taking on the Evil Empire (Texas) this weekend, it made me harken back to another Evil Empire (communist Russia) and the posterchild for 80 years of Marxist tyranny to millions of Americans: Ivan Drago.

Plus, “Rocky IV” was on cable last night.

So who has the better spike? Drago’s (along with Mack Brown) represents oppression, villany, athletic sweatshops and mindless, unappreciated domination.

Gundy’s represents light, freedom, hope and Vidal Sassoon.


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Word around the campfire is the first day Bill Young stepped into Stillwater, he handed out Shake Weights to all his defenders. Weeks later, the dividends are paying off. Check out the moment at 1:20 of this video. I heard this is what the Pickens weight room looked like this summer.

Word is Gundy is coming up with a new strength tool called Spike Delt. You continually run gel through your hair in a circular motion in reps of 45 seconds to build your shoulder muscles and increase endurance and flexibility. Gundy’s been doing a rudimentary form of this exercise for since college, leading to dozens of touchdown strikes. You’re welcome, Pat Jones.

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"Fontenot" is French for Kendall Hunter.
I don’t care that it was Baylor. Saturday’s win was awesome. Wilson Youman? Cooper Bassett? These people are catching touchdown passes in conference road games. And Zac Robinson played a near perfect game.

Who didn’t perform well? The Versus crew. Geez, you can REALLY see a difference between ESPN/ABC coverage and the B-team. Memo to Versus director: In college, players wear duplicate numbers. So even if Kendall Hunter wears ’24,’ there’s a possibility a defensive player might wear the same. The name on the jersey is a good indicator of the player’s identity. On the bright side, Deron Fontenot got some nice facetime.

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