Uncle, Mike Holder! Your season ticket policy is a sexy mess. I can’t look away.

Holder pulling Jedi mind tricks on Poke fans. You don't need to see his identification.

Dammit, Mike Holder! I wish I could quit you and your season ticket policy. I HATED it once before. But like Sam and Diane on “Cheers,” I’m strangely falling in love with it. You have Mike Gundy imploring to the choir at the Cowboy Caravan in Tulsa Thursday night to buy season tickets. The sales for season tickets are rising. You look like a genius, despite your propensity for truculence towards anyone without a personal finance manager.

Holder on season ticket sales to the Tulsa World:

“The whole premise (of the premium game policy) was to change the mind-set of our fan base and potential fan base. There is more value in purchasing a season ticket. This is not an attempt to sell out the Georgia game. This is an attempt to sell out every game.”

Genius, Cobra Commander! You see the forest AND the trees. As much as I loathe Holder’s short-term greed, it will probably pay long-term dividends. As much as I hate seeing empty seats for Bedlam in Stillwater, it’ll prompt cheap skates making $40K per year to forgo lunches for a few months and buy a season ticket. It could work long term. As long as Oklahoma State wins more than nine games per year. Once they start losing to Baylor and Iowa State, season tickets holders will pull out faster than me on prom night. Zing!

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Scott Wright: Pokes lose to Baylor, beat OU, Gundy rides unicorn to Fiesta Bowl

Gundy bares his teeth at all 2009 predictions that don't involve world domination

The Oklahoman’s Scott Wright laid out predictions for the 2009 OSU football season. And he had my attention before the loss to Baylor. From Wright’s column:

A crowd of 32,000 at Floyd Casey Stadium — more than half wearing orange — witness the Waco Miracle, when Baylor quarterback Robert Griffin scrambles for an 80-yard touchdown on the final play to beat the Cowboys and spoil their 5-0 start.

HA HA. The Waco Miracle? Was that the name of David Koresh’s fantasy football team? Then Wright has OSU beating OU and trouncing TCU in the Fiesta Bowl. Bring on the Tostitos!!

Oh yeah, Wright also predicted a 21-point victory over Georgia, a pick with which some Georgia fans in the “Dawg Pound” (see, its funny when you misspell words. HA HA) took umbrage.

My T. Kyle King lays out his sly anger at the picks. Then references Greek tragedies and Pavlov’s dog to compensate for the proximity of his home to where they shot “Deliverance.”

Read Mr. King’s column and guffaw.

http://www.dawgsports.com/2009/7/28/966252/oklahoma-state-cowboys-fans-need

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CBSSports hates Oklahoma State football

Poll
Which team will win the Big 12 South?
Oklahoma
Texas
Texas Tech

The above was a poll on http://www.cbssports.com this morning. What the hell? OSU is picked to finish above Tech in the Big 12 South this year and there’s nary a mention of the Pokes’ title chances. To make matters worse, Tech got 9% of the vote (at least when I voted, sometime after my mom brought down a PB&J to the basement where I blog in my Yoda pajamas.)

I sure hope Gundy doesn’t hear about this. Or its Gregg Doyel’s ass!

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Pick your favorite OSU football era

Gundy played during the painted concrete parking lot phase of Lewis Field

Mike Gundy’s own personal website has broken down OSU football into five different eras, based on bowl history.

http://www.coachgundy.com/bowlhistory1.php

The Classic Era – 1940s and 50s
The Middle Era – 1970s and early 80s
The Triplets Era – mid to late 80s
The Resurgent Era – late 90s and early 2000s
The Gundyball Era – the glorious age in which we live

Where is the “Completely Suck” era of the early 90s? (That 1991 season where the Pokes finished 0-10-1 was a 4-month colonoscopy).

How about the Tony Jones era, the worst 4-year quarterback starter in major college football history? (Rick Mirer is a close second).

By the way, based on OSU Tube on the Pokes’ official website, Gundy seemed to actual ENJOY Media Day. He made jokes. He smiled. Robert Allen told him he looked nice. Maybe Gundy is softening. But not the hair. The hair will always. Remain. Rigid.

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Sam Bradford hates Dean Blevins

Sam Bradford was like James Dean at OU Media Day in Dallas Tuesday. Handsome. Dashing. Humble. Apparantly he autographed a baby in the off-season which was a really big deal.

And he hates Dean Blevins.

Watch Dean-o, desperate for an exclusive, get in his cardio chasing Bradford to ask a few questions. Couldn’t Sam just stop and answer a few?

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OSU Media Highlights … not including the ones in Gundy’s hair

Pokes open Sept. 5 but Gundy's lettuce is in mid-season form

Media Day is pretty lame. Players and coaches say the same thing 25 times – just phrased a different way – to a breathless media that asks the same questions 25 times – just in a different way.
Can OSU compete with OU and Texas in the Big 12 South?
Will Bill Young bolster the underachieving Poke defense?
Are Hunter, Robinson and Bryant better than Sanders, Gundy and Dykes?

One thing that WASN’T in question (at least according to Robert Allen) is who was the best dressed coach at the opening day of the Big 12 Media suck fest.

From Allen’s column:
Mike Gundy won the best dressed coach award for Day One at the Big 12 Media Days. The Oklahoma State head coach was well attired in a plaid grey suit with a light purple tie and purple pocket square. It was a good look even though Gundy deviated from his usual orange tie and appointments.

Whoa, Allen. Change your underwear and get a hold of yourself. When you’re competing against the likes of Mike Sherman, winning a best dressed contest on the first afternoon of Media Day is like scoring at an Asian massage parlor.

But why DID Gundy go with a purple tie? Maybe he’s hoping to replace Les Miles at LSU? Tell everyone!

Other highlights:
-Gundy calling offensive tackle Russell Okung … Russell O-Coon. I’m pretty sure its pronounced the less objectionable way.
-KOTV’s coverage with Dean Blevins doing a pixilated one-on-one with Zac Robinson where Dean spent more time asking questions than Zac did answering.
-Andre Sexton is slated to join the likes of Tiki Barber and Spencer Tillman if he keeps this charming, smiling deal going beyond college.
-Gundy admitting he hired Bill Young to be his defensive coordinator because he knew he wasn’t using the position as a springboard to a head coaching job
-Gundy’s mother f**king lettuce!!!

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Sally Kern already protesting potential Kiss Cam at WNBA games

Fine. Bring the WNBA to Tulsa. All the naysayers are being shouted down by the Green Country pollyannas that are convinced Ultimate Cockfighting would work in Tulsa if allowed to compete in the BOK and gain a few sponsors. I’ll just lay back and watch the Kiss Cam at the WNBA games and wait for the obiligatory letters-to-the-editor about all the alternative lifestyles being displayed at the BOK and how they’re polluting young minds.

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Rumor: WNBA paid fan to picket outside presser. Fact: WNBA sucks

WNBA fans cheer on some purple team. Guy sitting on right questions course in life

HA HA. Word around the campfire is the WNBA paid some dude to stand outside the BOK Center Thursday, holding a sign that welcomed the WNBA to Tulsa and said he would buy season tickets. I saw the picture of that guy in the paper and thought he was more likely to buy a season pass at an adult theater than a WNBA team.

From http://www.rumorsandrants.com

Outside of the arena was a guy who was apparently a big WNBA fan, and even came with a sign supporting a team for Tulsa. But according to Our Guy in Tulsa, Thporth, there’s a reason you won’t find a picture of said fellow in the newspaper.

When asked if he had been paid to stand outside of the arena, the WNBA “fan” replied: “I’m not at liberty to say.”

http://rumorsandrants.com/2009/07/the-wnba-its-paid-off-faaaannntastic.html

I know. The site is named after rumors and rants. But this is the internet and nothing has to be true. Much like my testimony in the first indecent exposure case.

Just like Costanza said: It’s not a lie, if you believe it.

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Tulsa World’s John Klein level of suck-i-tude is of cosmic black hole variety

give me WNBA season tix. Put them on John Klein's credit card. And the Underhills.

Resident Tulsa World Larry King-like thought-dropper John Klein wrote a column in Thurdsay’s Tulsa World reasoning that a WNBA team would succeed in Tulsa evidenced by turnout for the now defunct LPGA event at Cedar Ridge.
LPGA event: 3 days
WNBA season: Several long equine-y months.

That, God forbid, a WNBA team coming to Tulsa would fail is a given. If fans won’t go see John Lucas and other heralded Division I stars in a NBA D-League game for $5 and a jupiter jump, they’re not paying $15 to see a WNBA game against a singular mascot (Detroit Shock! Phoenix Mercury!)

But Klein so blindly says it could succeed because … why was that again?

Tulsa is not too small to handle major sports events on a magnitude that far exceeds anything in the WNBA or even the NBA. More than 1,200 media folks were in town for the last U.S. Open (2001) and PGA Championship (2007) held at Southern Hills Country Club. The events were televised to more than 150 countries around the world.

Yes, because they were week-long events that people actually care about. NEXT!

Any debate about the uncertainty of Tulsa’s ability as a thriving sports city is not valid. Tulsa, given the chance for major golf tournaments or big league soccer or women’s golf, has always responded.

Big league soccer? What an idiot. Some now-defunct soccer team in the 80s harrassed a few fans into rioting at a soccer game instead of west Tulsa and that’s a reason the WNBA would succeed in Tulsa in 2009.

The LPGA, much like the WNBA, often gets lost in a major markets like New York or Los Angeles or Houston.

Not in Tulsa. That’s why the WNBA would have a good chance of success. It is just big enough to generate the kind of excitement it will take to build a fan base.

You had me at ‘not in Tulsa!’ Uncle! You’re right, old man! Sign me up. I want the season tickets by all the female gym teachers and Indigo Girl fans! Be more specific? Uhhh…sit me by the stables, I mean, the bench.

That being said, Candace Parker is pretty hot.

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Albino Mikey Holder

OSU AD getting some sun before the season

I pulled this mushroom from my yard, thought it was funny and had to apply the picture to local sports in someway. Sorry.

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