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Archive for May, 2010

Mikey G taking a break from slaying the gentler sex in Midwest City, circa 1982.


Either women at Oklahoma State are skanky harpies … or they’re just a composite of today’s women. Either way, stay away from Mike Gundy.

According to a survey by researchers at Oklahoma State, women are more drawn to a man if they know he’s in a relationship (hey ladies, I’m not single!).

However, this recent batch of philandering female star-chasers is indicative of a real-life trend that’s been taking place for a while, say scientists at Oklahoma State University.

In a prominent and highly publicized study, researchers divided bachelorettes into two groups and showed them photographs of a hot guy — telling one group he was single and the other he was in a relationship; then, they asked the women how likely they were to pursue him. Only when the woman believed he was committed to someone else did interest in the male subject skyrocket.

Sorry, ladies. There’s NOT enough lettuce to go around. We don’t need anything keeping Coach Gundy from figuring out a way to score at least one point next year in Bedlam.

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There has been speculation that Pilgrim’s “everyday pussy/bitch buy me something” rant is made up.

I WISH I could make that stuff up. Then I’d start printing t-shirts with the phrase “Bitch, Buy Me Something” underneath a picture of Pilgrim. But then Matt would probably want a cut of the profits.

And how about Ms. Teaira Montgomery? Bring all that Wanda Sykes sassiness up in har!

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Lock up your daughters! Michigan’s own Charles Clinton returns with a broadcasting body bag, ready to smoke fools and deliver stand-ups and make the ladies wetter than Niagara Falls. He’s got a face that could stop a Timex. A voice like a redneck peeling out of the state fair. But he wants to find out what Michigan hockey fans think about Michigan hockey. Do they like it? Do they hate it? WHY!?!?!?! Charles Clinton is on the case.

:08 – Charles is wearing a suit his mother bought him. His mother thinks he looks handsome
:19 – Charles sighs … thinks about that mid-term he scored a B on, that girl he didn’t kiss last night at the party, that chili dog he didn’t eat. The saddest words are ‘what might have been.’
:42 – Charles engages in a staring contest with his interview subject
:58 – Charles seemingly hasn’t breathed in 18 seconds
1:01 – Charles interviews a homeless man, taking the “man on the street” segment way too literally.
1:22 – Seriously, the band begans playing in that fat kid’s comments. And Charles doesn’t feel the need to edit this out.
1:34 – The band is still playing. Fat kid still talking.
1:50 – Charles is not on camera, presumbably clubbing a baby seal on stage left.
2:23 – OK, Charles. We’re getting a bit lazy with the editing here. You’re better than that.
3:04 – Charles finishes with a killer stand-up, complete with a leg scratch in the middle.
Then he delivers this line like Pacino in “Dog Day Afternoon”

“The chants, the cheers, the insanity! How far will this team go … it’s anybody’s GUEST (ed. note: I think he meant ‘guess?’) I’m Charles Clinton … and this is Wolv OVERTIME!!!!!

Fade to black.

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According to this story on OKBlitz.com, a 12-year-old Edmond quarterback will visit Oklahoma State after some fancy QB competition where parents pay wicked $$ in hotel and entry fees to make their kid feel good about himself.

I’ll be honest. I’m not up to date on judging the talent of football players that have yet to sprout pubes. But he throws a bit too much like Tim Tebow for my taste.

Can you imagine the conversation between Mike Gundy and this kid during his visit? Gundy wouldn’t smile or crack a joke the whole time. Meanwhile the kid has his earbuds in, listening to Justin Beiber.

By the time this kid becomes the starting quarterback at Oklahoma State, Brandon Weeden will be paying the senior discount at the movie theatre. Think about that.

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You had to love ‘Lima time.’ Dead of a heart attack at age 37.

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Some lady will proceed with a trial to earn a protective order against OSU hoopster Matt Pilgrim. This will somehow strengthen the temporary protective order against Pilgrim that is now in place.

Perhaps the young lady didn’t like Pilgrim’s facebook post where he mentioned the relationship might seem more equal if she would spend her money to purchase presents for Pilgrim, much like he did for her. Or in Pilgrim’s words: “bitch buy me something.”

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The janitor from the Breakfast Club has lost an assistant. Graham Harrell, who was coaching at Oklahoma State, signed with Green Bay to presumably play quarterback.

In other news, Jason White has taken down his air conditioner repair print ads and asked to join the Cowboy staff, thinking there is some connection between wearing Pokes coaching gear and getting a shot in the NFL.

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