-Minutes before kickoff. OSU announcer Robert Allen gives us yet another reason to dedicate ourselves to New Year’s resolutions. Mike Gundy’s hair is looking mediocre from behind.
-The hand of Fox news play-by-play man Pat Summerall resembles a crypt creeper. His hands make the digits of Al Davis look like that of a hand model. Summerall gets confused and turns his back on the camera to watch OSU run from the tunnel, leaving a puzzled Daryl Johnson sheepishly grinning at the camera.
-Both announcers love to say “Dexter McCluster.” Like former Michigan State point guard Mateen Cleaves, he will become infinitely more famous in the coming years simply because announcers enjoy saying his name.
-Lucien Antoine picks off Ole Miss quarterback Jevan Snead. Where has Antoine been the last few games? He was “The Punisher” during the first six games and relatively disappeared as the season wore on. However, Markell Martin is having a fabulous game.
Donald Booker stuffs Ole Miss defensive tackle Jerrell Powe at the goal line TWICE. The first hit (shown here) was definitely the most violent. Booker became my favorite Cowboy player this year. I bagged on him here in this unread blog after the first two games. Then he matured into one of the best hitters and most sure tacklers on the OSU defense.
-I love DVR. I wish I could DVR portions of my life. Like that one night in Tucson. Having the option to rewind to the moment right BEFORE I decided to buy the midget a Shirley Temple at the hotel bar … my life would be completely different.
-Nice of Thurman Thomas to dress up for the occasion. How about the B-team Fox gal commenting on Gundy’s hair in the 1985 team picture? Thurman deflects the hair comment and keeps moving.
-So Gundy suspended Perrish Cox. Curfew, rules, blah blah blah. I find if most interesting that the local media quoted Cox through his Facebook account. Social media has now become its own unfiltered and immediate press release.
You can capture the mood and comments off an athlete as he is sounding off to his “friends,” almost as if you overheard a conversation. If a reporter quoted comments that were overheard when talking to friends and family, that would be unethical. But since the comments are intentionally broadcast, they are apparently fair game.
Cox was pretty pissed, saying “4get Gundy.” He obviously has no worry for repercussions from his now former coach so he felt comfortable in sounding off.
Another question? Are the local media “friends” with these athletes on Facebook? Do they view pictures of them at frat parties and read exchanges with girlfriends? This seems a little creepy. But how else would the media access these unfiltered comments UNLESS they were socially media friends with the athletes they cover. I’m sure we’re moving towards an age when athletes won’t speak directly to media. They’ll instead tweet and post all their impressions of a game or a coaching change, thereby making the sports media even more irrelevant.
-Halftime: Taco Bell needs to be more self-aware … especially of its image and employees. A portion of advertising should ring true, correct? No one is buying the fact that one, let alone two, attractive young women are working at Taco Bell with a smile and a good attitude and a working knowledge of English. I automatically dismiss the rest of the commercial because I can’t get over how Taco Bell attempts to con the public that the restaurant experience at a local franchise is a pleasant and friendly one.
-I realize OSU hasn’t scored a point in six quarters. Then Fox flashes that same graphic. I feel smart.
-Snead is still pretending to be hurt after the vicious hit laid down by Markell Martin on Antoine’s interception return. Johnston and Summerall are commenting on whether Snead should stay at Ole Miss for another year instead of entering the draft. Are you kidding? He’s not even the best quarterback on the field! That’d be Brandon Weeden.
-Why is Fox News anchor Sheppard Smith doing halftime interviews with Houston Nutt? This whole broadcast seems thrown together at the last minute. Smith isn’t even wearing a sports coat. Its like they found him the hot dog line and handed him a microphone.
-OK, Taco Bell. I’ve had enough. Who is this poor man’s Jared lady who claimed to lose weight by dining exclusively at Taco Bell? And this drive-thru diet you’re promoting? There is a special place in hell for the advertising executives at Taco Bell. First they promote drunkenness and obesity with their “4th Meal” campaign. Now they’re trying to fool unwitting diners they can lose weight by eating their crappy horse meat. Ask Satan ‘what’s cracking?’ for me.
-We get it. McCluster doesn’t weigh that much. Weighing less than 200 lbs somehow makes the running back more courageous? How? He can just outrun everyone.
-Seriously, get Zac Robinson out of there. I love you, dude. Great career. Beautiful eyes (swoon). I even looked up the Bible verse on your eye black. But you are doing nothing right now. Keith Toston has more touchdown passes than you in this game.
-Robinson and Snead fumbles the snap on consecutive possessions. The rest of the nation flips to HGTV.
-Robinson throws another interception and this one is returned for a score. This after he threw one, thinking he had a free play. The only way my day can recover is if Robert Allen asks Gundy what kind of hair gel he prefers.
-THREE Mississippi coaches get Gatorade baths, furthering the most tired cliche in sports.
-Commence weeping. I thank God OSU didn’t play in the Fiesta Bowl. Ole Miss is not even good. Sure, they are pretty tough on defense (or maybe OSU made them look good). But this season ends at a disappointing 9-4. No Dez Bryant (thanks for making the trip, Dez. I see Sam Bradford can go to El Paso but you can’t make it to Dallas? F$%k off, dude), no Perrish Cox, no Zac Robinson (the real one), no offense. Even Gundy’s hair didn’t look that great.