An OK blog honoring Gundy’s hair and other hot messes

Has there been a less exciting week for OSU football in expectation of a trip to Ames? The collective yawn has filtered into my mother’s basement and touched me inappropriately.

OSU 34
Iowa State 13

Here’s hoping for a similar performance to what we saw in College Station and Waco. Here’s hoping Anyiam doesn’t coat his hands in petroleum jelly before the game, that Tracy Moore plays more than half the game, that Kendall Hunter plays more than one play (something he didn’t do against Texas) and that Mike Gundy packs plenty of gel for the trip north.

How did I miss this? When Gundy made his tour of ESPN last summer, he sat down and did a web chat with fans.

During the chat, about halfway through, an inquisitive chatter drops this bomb.

Justin (Leedy)

How do you get you hair to do that?

Mike Gundy (4:24 PM)

My hair stands up naturally. I have a hard time getting it to go down.

Bravo Justin in Leedy. And bravo on the answer, Mr. Gundy. Stands up naturally? Not according the Midwest City Bomber yearbook, circa 1983. You rocked the ‘Bama bangs back in your iRoc days.

Check out Gundy’s hair during his tour in Maryland

No gelled spike.

The gelled spike was a decision. But like Churchill said, some men are born with great hair and some have great hair thrust upon them.

Kendall Hunter is to toughness as Dexter Manley is to literacy.

There, I said it.

And does anyone sound like a bigger, self-serving phony right now than Dez Bryant? He did that ESPN interview – the one where he said he was going to class and going to practice and taking care of business – in PLANO! Unless they offer coorespondence courses mid-semester, Dez is not going to class. And the fact he had a LAWYER with him during the NCAA Q&As and that he and the lawyer stepped outside to consult over answers (NCAA: Dez, how’s it going? Dez: Sorry, let me consult with my attorney on that question) and that he STILL lied!!!! Very troubling.

What a couple boners these guys turned out to be. The ‘88 triplets were awesome. Barry’s in the NFL Hall of Fame, Hart Lee Dykes showed his dong to a female reporter and Mike Gundy … well … the hair. Very disappointed with you, ‘09 triplets. Not mad. Disappointed. Because that’s worse.

Seeing as OSU is taking on the Evil Empire (Texas) this weekend, it made me harken back to another Evil Empire (communist Russia) and the posterchild for 80 years of Marxist tyranny to millions of Americans: Ivan Drago.

Plus, “Rocky IV” was on cable last night.

So who has the better spike? Drago’s (along with Mack Brown) represents oppression, villany, athletic sweatshops and mindless, unappreciated domination.

Gundy’s represents light, freedom, hope and Vidal Sassoon.

Word around the campfire is the first day Bill Young stepped into Stillwater, he handed out Shake Weights to all his defenders. Weeks later, the dividends are paying off. Check out the moment at 1:20 of this video. I heard this is what the Pickens weight room looked like this summer.

Word is Gundy is coming up with a new strength tool called Spike Delt. You continually run gel through your hair in a circular motion in reps of 45 seconds to build your shoulder muscles and increase endurance and flexibility. Gundy’s been doing a rudimentary form of this exercise for since college, leading to dozens of touchdown strikes. You’re welcome, Pat Jones.

I don’t care that it was Baylor. Saturday’s win was awesome. Wilson Youman? Cooper Bassett? These people are catching touchdown passes in conference road games. And Zac Robinson played a near perfect game.

Who didn’t perform well? The Versus crew. Geez, you can REALLY see a difference between ESPN/ABC coverage and the B-team. Memo to Versus director: In college, players wear duplicate numbers. So even if Kendall Hunter wears ‘24,’ there’s a possibility a defensive player might wear the same. The name on the jersey is a good indicator of the player’s identity. On the bright side, Deron Fontenot got some nice facetime.

Look at this garbage column Pat Forde wrote without any knowledge of the situation. This is like Mike Lupica’s drive-by on OU when the Sooners pounded A&M 77-0 and Lupica lambasted Stoops for running up the score and then later admitted he didn’t even see the game. Forde isn’t as big a douche as Lupica (that’d be impossible) but he’s rising on the tool/douche meter.

From Forde’s column about Dez Bryant missing the Grambling game:

The Hypocrite (3) of the half-year is:

A. Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy.
B. Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy.
C. Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy.

Dash Answer: All of the above. Everyone remembers the “I’m a Man! I’m 40!” part of that absurd Gundy rant in 2007, right? What most people don’t recall is Gundy also screaming, “That’s not true!” about certain aspects of a story in the Oklahoman. Well, it turns out the great champion of truth and accuracy couldn’t bring himself or his program to be forthright about why receiver Dez Bryant sat out against Grambling on Sept. 26.

The school stated that Bryant missed the game with an injury. Then, according to a report last week in the Oklahoman, the school told the NCAA a different story. In its appeal to restore Bryant’s eligibility after he lied to NCAA investigators, Oklahoma State congratulated itself for withholding its star wideout because of eligibility concerns.

OSU sports information director already came out and said that HE told the media in his game notes that Bryant was being held out because of injury. So Gundy didn’t say anything.

And why WOULD Gundy announce that Dez was sitting out because of a possible violation? Why stir up that hornets nest if you don’t have to? That’s what females do … bump their gums about everything until someone’s mad.

Forde, the old saying goes “Don’t mess with the bull. You’ll get the horns.”

As far as Gundy, “Don’t mess with the lettuce, you’ll get the spike.”