An OK blog honoring Gundy’s hair and other hot messes

Word around the campfire is Alex Cate has taken most of the first-team snaps in practice this week. Since practice is closed, no one (except Gundy) really knows for sure if Zac Robinson will play Thursday.

In situations like this, I don’t mind the whole media freeze out. On a short week, what’s it matter if the Tulsa World or Daily Oklahoman knows for sure who is starting. I take the Jack Nicholson approach in “A Few Good Men” …

(in Gundy voice) “You enjoy the wins under the banner of football I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Either way, I don’t care.”
(Media) “Will Robinson play on Thursday?”
(Gundy) “Eat a bag of dicks”
(Media) “WILL ROBINSON PLAY ON THURSDAY?”
(Gundy) “What do you want?”
(Media) “We want the truth.”
(Gundy) “You can’t handle the truth!”

Either way, Vegas LOVES the Pokes in this game. The line opened at OSU -14 and has moved to -16 1/2. So that makes me feel better. I always take comfort in the approval of degenerate gamblers.

Thank you Patrick Lavine for the Pick Six.
Thank you Kendall Hunter for taking a few Advil and playing like the Kendall of old.
Thank you Bill Young for being old. You probably wouldn’t have gotten the defensive coordinator position otherwise because Gundy wanted to hire someone long in the tooth that wasn’t trying to build a resume for a head job.
Thank you to Mike Gundy’s playcalling sheet to hide any lip-reading while Gundy whispers his hair care secrets into his headset.
Thank you Hubert Anyiam for not greasing your palms with cooking grease like you did before the game against Texas.

Let’s do it again in four days. The only thing able to bouce back that fast is Gundy’s hair.

Remember, for Gundy’s spike and game prep, today is a Thursday. So he’s only got two days to rest his bangs before he slicks it up again this Thursday.

Oklahoma State 27
Colorado 10

Let’s pray Zac is okay.
And lady in the pink snuggie. Really? A snuggie? And a pink one?

Word around the campfire is Gundy is trying a different hair gel for this Saturday’s game with Texas Tech. Instead of wearing black jerseys or going throwback (like OU this weekend), the man thought he’d mix up his product.

Don’t worry. The amount of gel, like the Cowboys effort, will still be there.

For the Bedlam game, sources say Gundy is going to COMPLETELY mix things up and wear his throwback hair, a la his days at the OSU quarterback.

This picture below might be the best thing I’ve seen in weeks.

Gundy’s Lettuce’s favorite recent OSU grad is hoping to guide the Winnipeg Bombers to the CFL playoffs. And dropping nonsensical quotes to emote his desire to play.

Said Adarius Bowman, who is coming off a knee injury, about his status for this weekend’s game against the Hamilton Tiger-Cats

“There’s no way I am going to miss this one,” said receiver Adarius Bowman, who played spectator last weekend with a sore knee. “I don’t care if my leg fell out. I’d play with only one arm because this one is so important.

“It was the hardest thing being here watching (the loss in Montreal) on TV. All I can say now is I’m ready. I’m double-ready than all these guys in here. I don’t mean to take anything away from them, but I am s-o-o-o-o ready to get at this.”

But he probably said this with a grin so the reporter just nodded and thought, ‘What a great guy.’

Is it a reporter’s obligation to correct a player’s quote for clarity? I’ve read columns about whether, when interviewing someone who speaks broken English, if you should add the occassional infinitive so:

“We to want win this game very bad.”

Doesn’t come out:

“We want win game very bad.”

Even if the players actually said the former, should reporters quote the latter to keep the player from looking like a moron? Hey, try being interviewed by a national publication in your second language. It’d be harder than Chinese algebra.

Now, Adarius is presumably using his FIRST language in the above quotes. Obviously one’s leg cannot “fall out.” And you can’t really be “double ready than all these guys.” But Adarius should find this Ed Tait guy who wrote the story and give him a swirlie. No one makes Adarius look dumb. Except Adarius when he tests positive for weed before the NFL combine and runs a 5.9 40-yard dash and drops every ball thrown his way as if it was laced in anthrax.

Back in the days when Oklahoma State played in the Big 8, they’d play all those Texas dirt bags in non-conference games. So it was an event when the Cowboys would play a Texas A&M or Baylor.

In 1988, the best year of Gundy’s life, Oklahoma State played Texas Tech … in Japan. OSU Pat Jones, Barry Sanders, Gundy and the rest were exposed to glittering lights, small hands, odd pornography and subsequent gongs during a trip to Toyko to play the Red Raiders.

OSU won 45-42 as Barry Sanders ran for 332 yards and four touchdowns AFTER he won the Heisman Trophy earlier that day. Awesome. Everything about Barry Sanders will be awesome. The car dealership. The retirement. The lovable aloofness. Awesome.

HAHA. Trust me, I spent a month in Lubbock one night. And Leach ain’t lying. No wonder he’s resorted to fantasizing about Pirates.

OSU 38
Texas Tech 30

Let’s be friends so we can feel less alone in the world. I don’t know how to find Gundy’s Lettuce on Facebook. So search for Gundy’s Lettuce in the little search deal? Whatevs.

No, that’s not me in the picture. I haven’t seen the sun since OSU lost to Texas on Black Saturday.

The only chance for OSU to win the Big 12 South is for Baylor to beat Texas at home this weekend. We know the steers won’t lose to Kansas in Austin. And, without a loss to Baylor, Texas will be outright champs before its game against Texas A&M on Nov. 26.

So come on Bears!

Baylor won in dramatic fashion last week at Missouri. Plus, Texas is on cruise control after a win over Central Florida. Mack Brown is busy running his Austin speakeasy, Colt McCoy gets distracted by his hot girl friend, the 13th century returns to nab Jordan Shipley and his simian looks and suddenly the Bears are up 17-3 at the half.

Third-string Baylor QB Nick Florence passed for 427 yards last week against the Tigers. But there’s little to no tape on the guy. And this will be Baylor’s Super Bowl.

Remember when Texas lost at Kansas State a few years ago and crapped away the Big 12 South title, giving Oklahoma a chance to sneak in. That could totally happen again.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to feed my unicorn.

Attention: Producers of “Dancing With The Stars”
You have a budding performer in Stillwater. Apparantly, according to OSU cornerback Perrish Cox, Mike Gundy dances in the team circle.
From Bill Haisten’s blog:

“He hides it from the media and fans, but OSU coach Mike Gundy occassionally dances in the team circle. Cox says cornerback Terrance Anderson does the best impression of the Gundy dance.
“You have to see (Gundy) dance,” Cox said. “It’s like the bones are broken in his legs. It’s crazy. You’re like, ‘Where are your bones at, man?’

I think I felt it move when I read this. Gundy dancing? Classic. Does this mean the MWC Bomber has a personality? Perhaps laughs on occassion? Does not power down each night in his zip-up cellophane chamber and recalibrate for the next morning?

Based on Perrish’s description of Gundy’s dance moves, I’m picturing a marionette dangling from a set of strings that both Boone Pickens and Mike Holder control behind a curtain while drinking the blood of refugee children, clubbing baby seals and poking old ladies in the eye.