Gundy: It’s hard being me. Why? The lettuce.

I want Gundy to follow this template for an on-field post-game interview with Erin Andrews right after beating OU.
Andrews: Coach, you’ve just beaten Oklahoma 63-3. What are your thoughts.
Gundy: I just feel emancipated. I’ve been up for, like, eight days. It’s hard being me.
Andrews: Why? Why is it hard being you?
Gundy: (Points to hair) The lettuce. (Jogs off field)

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Is Chris Gaines considered an OSU graduate as well?

Chris Gaines fan club meets on North Peoria in Tulsa.

I know Garth Brooks is an Oklahoma State alum. So would Chris Gaines, as his ‘Bama-banged alter ego, own the same diploma? Does Chris Gaines prefer the Sooners?

I have no idea why someone would spray paint this on a north Tulsa wall. No idea why I was driving in this area (drugs). No idea why I would step from my car and snap a picture (my life is lame). And no idea why the artist chose yellow (Asian). Wouldn’t orange be more appropriate?

Someone (Mike Gundy) should ask Garth Brooks how orange Chris Gaines is.

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Check out the crowd for Game 1 of the WNBA Finals! John Klein calls this the silent majority.

BOK Center and Nolan? Observe your future.

WNBA Fever is the hottest virus since swine flu. Check out the crowd for Game 1 of the WNBA Finals between the Indiana Fever (natch) and Phoenix Mercury. Singular nicknames! Backdoor cuts! And rabid crowds!

John Klein, this is what you’re saying will work in Tulsa. This is the FINALS! And no one cares.

So, seeing that Nolan Richardson is the formally announced coach of a non-existent team, what does he do all day? Brush up on ACL injuries? Read Spud Webb’s biography?

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Bye week! What will Gundy do?

High school football fans should scan the sidelines this Friday for the lettuce … lurking like a shark fin across prep fields, looking for new talent. I’d be Gundy is at Tulsa Union, seeing as his last two Redskin recruits (Jeremy Smith and Tracy Moore) seem to be working out.

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I’m waiting on this to happen to OSU

This is the worst loss in the history of football. What a dope! I could see Donald Booker making a similar play.

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If Biker Fox is with us, who can be against us?

Biker Fox knows to dress up in the Boone Pickens Club Level.

That collective yawn you hear from Texas’ hat above the Red River is the sentiment about this Saturday’s Oklahoma State vs. Grambling State game.

What a bummer. We have three weeks of high octane football then you look up and OSU is playing Grambling State, Tulsa is playing Sam Elliot State and OU is waxing Landry Jones mustache.

Last night, Ole Miss was exposed as the Oklahoma State of Week 4 – a highly ranked team that was highly ranked for no real reason. Now, with the ranks thinning, OSU’s inevitable win over Texas will mean ever more.

OSU 49
Grambling State 17

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Week’s most generic comment: “Go to the OSU game to see the band!”

Grambling State is rumored to leave their butt trumpeteer at home.

There’s not much to talk about leading up to OSU’s game with Grambling State this weekend. So those looking for crutch topics and/or wanting to show a modicum of culture mutter, “Well, you can always go to the game for the Grambling State band.”

Drive (presumably) an hour to Stillwater, park two miles away, buy a stale pretzel with salt kernels the size of testicles, urinate in a trough, battle through a dozen fatties to get to your seat … all to see a 3-minute show by the band.

If Dez Bryant, who doesn’t appear to be 100% physically, DOES play he could reinjure or aggravate his cramps/knee/turf toe/gingivitis. If he doesn’t play, the Pokes are without two of the three triplets and could be lucky to win by 14.

That’s why you make the big bucks Mike Gundy. Making game-time decisions against crappy teams with big band followings.

I think Gundy’s hair should take the week off. Let it fall into a butt cut or (gasp!) part the lettuce on the side and just let it dangle like ‘Bama bangs.

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What will Gundy do in the Pokes’ bye week?

If Gundy doesn't already have this in his medicine cabinet, he should.

After the Grambling State game, the Pokes have a bye week. What should Gundy do during that time?
There’s recruiting, I suppose.
Not golf, he admits shooting over 100.
Who wants to watch more football? That’s all he does, right?

Idea? Experiment with this orange hair gel for pets! After all, its SHOCKING!

This could start a revolution in Stillwater and Boone Pickens Stadium. Forget wearing orange shirts. Can you imagine how freaked out Missouri would be if, come Oct. 17, they come into the BP and see 50,000 fans with orange hair.

Gundy, you’re our hair gel leader. Set an example. He’s always asking “How orange are you?” This is your chance to show us!

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New TU mascot looks like Big Mac Tonight moonman

TU's new mascot. Not Todd Graham. The one making a mime pose.

The University of Tulsa burdened us with their newest version of the Golden Hurrican mascot. Along with a side-story about Captain Cane that will titilate all the dorks that read comic books in their proverbial matriarchal basements.

The Captain ‘Cane story goes like this…Colin Cane, a freshman at The University of Tulsa, worked in IT support at night to help pay his way through college. During an electrical storm one night, Colin was called to the TU sports complex to fix a malfunctioning satellite that was broadcasting a live game. Never again would he watch his favorite team in action as a mere mortal. As he adjusted the satellite, the roar of the crowd coursed through the transmitter just as it was zapped with static electricity from the storm. Colin became entangled in a web of cyber-athletic forces. The atmospheric oddity known as a “binary vortex” mutated Colin over the course of several years. He eventually lost his hair but gained super-human powers. Thus he became Captain ‘Cane, a champion athlete and highly educated zealot of all things TU.

Real story? I think Tulsa bought the uniform from McDonalds’ 1980s campaign with Big Mac Tonight and applied some fresh paint.

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Know your foe: Grambling State

All these leapers represent an OSU opponent. Second from the left is Grambling State. Fourth from right is Iowa State.

What do we need to know about Grambling State?
Their website says this is a “new era is GSU athletics.”
They are SWAC (Southwestern Athletic Conference) champs.
They are 2-1 … with a loss to South Carolina State.
Their quarterback Greg Dillon has thrown twice as many picks (4) as touchdowns (2).
Their punter is named Fabian.
Finally, 80% of people who bought season tickets to OSU football games in anticipation for the Georga contest are second-guessing their decision, staring down at a Grambling State/OSU ticket with a face value of $80.

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