An OK blog honoring Gundy’s hair and other hot messes

By Bilbo Haistings
STILLWATER – Presumed OSU starting quarterback Brandon Weeden placed a few calls Wednesday, congratulating new Cowboy signees. But Weeden admits there were awkward moments.

“I threw out an “Office Space” reference like ‘make sure you fill out that TPS report when you come on campus’ and there were crickets,” said the 26-year-old Weeden. “I guess I can’t blast ‘Mambo No. 5′ in the locker room anymore.”

Weeden sheepishly acknowledged the age gap between he and the new Cowboy class, some of whom are 17 years old. When he was blasting “Semi-Charmed Life,” the recruits were still awaiting pubic hair. But Weeden says he and the new class can find common ground.

“I loved Chappelle Show. And they like Soldier Boy. He’s a comedian, right?”

Weeden said the age difference could help in the huddle. He said he could tell a freshman receiver “I’m very disappointed in you” if the wide out doesn’t run the correct route.

“That always worked when my parents did it to me,” he said with a shrug.

Good riddence, Mr. Barnett. Enjoy playing the Independence Bowl for four years.

I’d love to hear Gundy’s final pitch to prospective student-athletes:

We need you in Stillwater. You’ll return the opening kick off for a touchdown. You’ll catch three touchdowns on national TV. You’ll have a chance to beat OU and Texas and crap the bed. You’ll get to grease palms with the legend T.Boone Pickens. And the odds are 25% I’ll kick you off the team by your senior year. Now let’s have you sign on that line that is dotted.”
“No?”
“OK, you can have your way with the lady in the OSU bikini.”

by Bilbo Haistings
STILLWATER-With a new offensive coordinator and a new starting quarterback in tow, sources close to his hair say OSU head coach Mike Gundy is pondering the possibilty of “doing the Budke” in 2010.

The coach’s hair has been the focus of much discussion and internet rabblerousing in recent months, along with the Cowboys’ meager offensive performances in the Bedlam and Cotton Bowl games.

Gundy couldn’t be reached for comment as he’s charming urban mothers on the recruiting trail. But sources say Gundy has admired Budke’s “butt cut” from afar and is pondering a transition. This would be the second time Gundy went with a Budke-like cut as he fashioned a similar style in his playing days.

Poke fan is gnashing his teeth that Booker T product Calvin Barnett may not honor his verbal commit to OSU and instead enroll at Arkansas. After all, good friend and teammate Eric Bennett is going to Fayetteville. And Barnett made a trip there recently.

Personally, I don’t think it would be a huge loss. Sure, Barnett has a big body (320 pounds). And he has the BTW Hornet pedigree. But I saw him play in high school and I wasn’t that impressed. I know he took on double and triple teams. But he rarely made an impact or pressured the quarterback. Plus, he was pretty mouthy with teammates and referees and enjoyed taking his helmet off prematurely, ala Tony Gillespie from Jenks. Barnett seemed to be the anti-Michael Doctor. (ed note: All this is said without any knowledge about anything. Come on, its a blog)

It seems like he’s more of a project player: big body, nice speed, etc.

Much like Xavier Lawson Kennedy. And we know how that worked out.

The Tulsa World is reporting that former Texas Tech quarterback Graham Harrell will join the Cowboy football staff as a quality-control assistant.

One thing I love about both Harrell and his new boss Dana Holgerson. They both threw Adam James under the bus with strongly written letters to the Texas Tech brass.

What’s funny is that Harrell will be helping coach Brandon Weeden … but he’s still younger than him.

TBoone: Mike? Boone here.
Gundy: Hello, Mr. Pickens. How are you?
TBoone: I’m old! And I thought we’d be winning the Big 12 by now. Hell, I’m not going to live forever. And there’s no reason to keep my ticker going to see us get shut out in Norman and crap the bed at the Cotton Bowl.
Gundy: I understand
TBoone: Some folks are saying you got too much on your plate. That you shouldn’t be calling plays.
Gundy: Those people are garbage.
TBoone: Why don’t you just hire a coordinator?
Gundy: Well, Mr. Pickens. I really like to keep a 50/50 balance between run and pass. In fact, even if the pass is working all game and the run is going nowhere, I’ll continue to run the ball so I can get my 50/50 balance. Same case with vice versa. Plus, I need a reason to make my signs and hold my clipboard. And …
TBoone: I wasn’t really asking. I was telling you. Hire a coordinator.
Gundy: Like who?
TBoone: How about someone from Houston? They seemed to beat us up pretty bad. You’re not going to get anyone from OU or Texas to come to Stillwater. And the folks in Mississippi probably won’t leave the SEC. So that leaves Houston. Why not just hire the feller there that made us look bad?
Gundy: Well, see …
TBoone: Again, not asking. Telling. Make the call. Now, I have to get going. ‘Matlock’ is on the television.

Why does Mike Gundy even bother doing interviews? He straight up lied to the face of Tulsa World scribe Bill Haisten, saying he planned to retain play-calling and most of the offensive duties in 2009. Then, that same day the story is published, Gundy announces that he hired the janitor in “The Breakfast Club” to be his offensive coordinator.

When Gundy lies to the beat reporter of a newspaper read by thousands of alumni, he’s lying to the fans. This isn’t the Cold War. Loose lips are not sinking ships. Perhaps Gundy doesn’t want anyone to “break” a news story about the program. If he can release the information of a new hire the way he wants it, at the time he wants to and in the manner he chooses, Gundy feels in complete control.

But when he lies so egregiously and without remorse, you question everything else that comes out of his mouth. Did Perrish Cox really break curfew twice at the Cotton Bowl? Or did he just swipe a bottle of Gundy’s hair gel on the team plane? Now, anything Gundy says with the slightest bit of controversy attached cannot be taken seriously. Because he’ll lie if its convienent.

I’m sure Gundy can rationalize his dishonesty to be Bill Haisten by explaining he does what HE thinks is best for the program. I didn’t know for sure if the Breakfast Club janitor would take the job, he’d say. But he knew it was offered. Be evasive rather than lie. I’ll say this for Bob Stoops. He might be a dick sometimes when asked a question he doesn’t like. But he won’t lie.