Filed under: Gundy Stuff
Get a room
During Mike Gundy’s press conference Monday, brother Cale called the Better Gundy’s cell phone (405-HAIR-GEL or 405-424-7435) – presumably – to wish him well on Saturday.
Then Mike said that’s the first time he’s called in six months. That would definitely be weird competing against your brother; not only in one game per year, but also on the recruiting trail. The only time you could really talk would be June. And then you’re giving each other the Larry David stink eye, trying to see what the other is hiding.
But is Cale a black sheep or what? Remember when he’d take his helmet off after every touchdown? It’ll take a lifetime to climb out of that Douche Hole. While his older brother is piloting a cross country school (national champs! baby) to a BCS game, Cale is teaching running backs how to fumble.
And the hair! What happened to Cale’s hair? Why was Mike so blessed and Cale got this generic, dark brown thing he has going on up top?
OSU 21
Oklahoma 20
I just filled my mother’s basement (my room) with bags of Tostitos. Hopefully the word of increased sales in the Oklahoma zip codes will lead the Fiesta Bowl committee to choose OSU for their bowl.
Someone please wake John Klein and tell him that, if the Cowboys win Saturday, they are MOST LIKELY going to the Fiesta Bowl.
From his lame column:
“In a game of role reversal, it is Oklahoma State that may be playing for big stakes.”
MAY be playing? What a moron. And what does the pronoun ‘it’ clarify, “Kleiner.” Your bowel movements? Your Matlock DVDs? Someone please rip the Big 12 Insider column away from him.
This is WAY late but thoughts on the OSU/Colorado game
-Everytime Chris Fowler mentioned Markques Simas in the OSU/Colorado games, I thought he was going to say “semen.”
-Dan Hawkins came to Boulder with a flat top. Then he tries to mix it up with some lame, insurance-salesman side part. The Buffs began to swoon and lose games. Coincidence? Gundy. Don’t touch the spike.
-Really, what was Gundy thinking starting Alex Cate. The decision eventually worked out because OSU won. But that’s like the manager in “Major League” agreeing to let a 40-year-old catcher bunt in the 9th inning of a playoff game. The decision worked out. But not because it was a good one.
Filed under: Gundy Stuff
Hence the lack of jocular posts. Hoping to began riffing on Gundy’s hair and the Pokes Fiesta Bowl hopes soon.
I heart Brandon Weeden.
Filed under: Gundy Stuff
Word around the campfire is Alex Cate has taken most of the first-team snaps in practice this week. Since practice is closed, no one (except Gundy) really knows for sure if Zac Robinson will play Thursday.
In situations like this, I don’t mind the whole media freeze out. On a short week, what’s it matter if the Tulsa World or Daily Oklahoman knows for sure who is starting. I take the Jack Nicholson approach in “A Few Good Men” …
(in Gundy voice) “You enjoy the wins under the banner of football I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Either way, I don’t care.”
(Media) “Will Robinson play on Thursday?”
(Gundy) “Eat a bag of dicks”
(Media) “WILL ROBINSON PLAY ON THURSDAY?”
(Gundy) “What do you want?”
(Media) “We want the truth.”
(Gundy) “You can’t handle the truth!”
Either way, Vegas LOVES the Pokes in this game. The line opened at OSU -14 and has moved to -16 1/2. So that makes me feel better. I always take comfort in the approval of degenerate gamblers.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Will firing Kansas head coach Mark Mangino make the Jayhawks MORE or LESS likely to upset Texas on Saturday? A Kansas win is like what Princess Leia said about Obi Wan Kenobi: our only hope.
Should the Jayhawks lose, I hope Todd Reesing throws an incomplete pass like the one above and hits Mack Brown in the Crown Royal bag. That’d be worth losing the Big 12 South title.
Filed under: Non-Gundy Stuff
Hugs and handpounds to Zack Greinke for winning the AL Cy Young Award today. This guy was two steps from the nuthouse in 2006. But he recovered and is living up to his potential. If you can win the Cy Young in Kansas City and your last name doesn’t rhyme with Snabberhagen, you’ve really done something.
By the way, judging by the pictures and stuff I’ve seen about the actual Cy Young, he’d probably be a middle relief journeyman if he played in the league in 2009.
Filed under: Gundy Stuff
Thank you Patrick Lavine for the Pick Six.
Thank you Kendall Hunter for taking a few Advil and playing like the Kendall of old.
Thank you Bill Young for being old. You probably wouldn’t have gotten the defensive coordinator position otherwise because Gundy wanted to hire someone long in the tooth that wasn’t trying to build a resume for a head job.
Thank you to Mike Gundy’s playcalling sheet to hide any lip-reading while Gundy whispers his hair care secrets into his headset.
Thank you Hubert Anyiam for not greasing your palms with cooking grease like you did before the game against Texas.
Let’s do it again in four days. The only thing able to bouce back that fast is Gundy’s hair.
Remember, for Gundy’s spike and game prep, today is a Thursday. So he’s only got two days to rest his bangs before he slicks it up again this Thursday.
Oklahoma State 27
Colorado 10
Filed under: Gundy Stuff
Let’s pray Zac is okay.
And lady in the pink snuggie. Really? A snuggie? And a pink one?
Filed under: Gundy Stuff
Word around the campfire is Gundy is trying a different hair gel for this Saturday’s game with Texas Tech. Instead of wearing black jerseys or going throwback (like OU this weekend), the man thought he’d mix up his product.
Don’t worry. The amount of gel, like the Cowboys effort, will still be there.
For the Bedlam game, sources say Gundy is going to COMPLETELY mix things up and wear his throwback hair, a la his days at the OSU quarterback.
This picture below might be the best thing I’ve seen in weeks.
Filed under: Gundy Stuff
Gundy’s Lettuce’s favorite recent OSU grad is hoping to guide the Winnipeg Bombers to the CFL playoffs. And dropping nonsensical quotes to emote his desire to play.
Said Adarius Bowman, who is coming off a knee injury, about his status for this weekend’s game against the Hamilton Tiger-Cats
“There’s no way I am going to miss this one,” said receiver Adarius Bowman, who played spectator last weekend with a sore knee. “I don’t care if my leg fell out. I’d play with only one arm because this one is so important.
“It was the hardest thing being here watching (the loss in Montreal) on TV. All I can say now is I’m ready. I’m double-ready than all these guys in here. I don’t mean to take anything away from them, but I am s-o-o-o-o ready to get at this.”
But he probably said this with a grin so the reporter just nodded and thought, ‘What a great guy.’
Is it a reporter’s obligation to correct a player’s quote for clarity? I’ve read columns about whether, when interviewing someone who speaks broken English, if you should add the occassional infinitive so:
“We to want win this game very bad.”
Doesn’t come out:
“We want win game very bad.”
Even if the players actually said the former, should reporters quote the latter to keep the player from looking like a moron? Hey, try being interviewed by a national publication in your second language. It’d be harder than Chinese algebra.
Now, Adarius is presumably using his FIRST language in the above quotes. Obviously one’s leg cannot “fall out.” And you can’t really be “double ready than all these guys.” But Adarius should find this Ed Tait guy who wrote the story and give him a swirlie. No one makes Adarius look dumb. Except Adarius when he tests positive for weed before the NFL combine and runs a 5.9 40-yard dash and drops every ball thrown his way as if it was laced in anthrax.
